I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
