i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
