it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
