do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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