he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
