we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
