I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
