remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
