Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Randomize
