girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
