where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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