The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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