I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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