captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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