She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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