summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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