Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
