I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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