Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
