after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
