What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize