U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
