I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
