Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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