i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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