hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
