too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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