I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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