Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
