I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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