How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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