Cold hands, warm shart.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
