The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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