I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
its liver damage thursday
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