actually, I'm a sock model
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
