u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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