you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
