So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
