I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
