We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
