No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
