no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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