no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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