Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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