i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
