I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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