when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
