Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
