I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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