He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
