That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
