he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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