evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
