he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
