I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize