dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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