Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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