Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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