but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
