It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
