Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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