batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
farters have to be the big spoon...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
