I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize