Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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