He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
