It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize