You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
