they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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