Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
