so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
