the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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