Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
