just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize