operation have a gay friend backfired
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
