If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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