i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
