This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
