I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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