Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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