4 words: hood of his car
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I will be naked everywhere
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
