I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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