Having a random hookup so left but love u
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
