I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
