I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
