do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize