He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The maid of honor just puked.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
