You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
