ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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