i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
