glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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