Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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