Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
