Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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