More tranny stories later!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
