i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
