You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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