Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
